lowkey | HOPE USED REGEN AND VANILLE CAST DEATH

Ahaha, hooray! Breaking cuties is fun! Actually, just breaking characters in general is fun, who am I kidding? XD

It was, sorta? I've never written a crazy character. BUT, it was mostly 1) Vanille behaving like herself, but 2) trying to kill everyone.

Writing crazy characters is so much fun! And crazy homicidal Vanille is so an idea I could get behind. XD

It was fun! AND I got to do some serious callbacks to this scene.

D'AWWW

I loved that scene. It made me giggle all over the place. Which was nice, because most scenes in that game either made me want to cry all over the place or throw things at the screen. XD

(God, the scene with Fang and Sazh and the chocobos pretty much made me bawl...)

AND I TOOK THAT SCENE AND MADE IT SAD

yyyyyaaaayyyyyy

♥♥♥♥

THAT IS AWESOME.

I'm torn between "I WANT TO SHARE THIS NOW" and "But if I share everything, then what will happen once I'm finally done?"

Keep it as an element of surprise, XD

(Although, I think the likelihood of me not reading your fic because of snippets is like... nada. XD)

Lightning is full of sanguinolency.

"Could be a useful word for history majors and gamers."

hahahah, yes!

XD

Lightning and Fang came to mind pretty much immediately.

Yeah, I was totally like "and Fang."

And clearly, they should/could build a loving relationship on their shared interests. I really want one of my screwed up timelines to be them as a couple, Bonnie and Clyde style.

EPIC.

That would be pretty funny. Hope would probably just be like =O

Por que?

Because... it would be awesome. And because that's what I thing they have in common. And because I want to juxtapose the different sides of Lightning -- that she doesn't need to be violent, that that's a control mechanism for her.

Ahaha, no. I meant Hope would be like 'but why?' because of your Hope/Light aspect, XD

I really enjoy the violence in their relationship. I mean, first fic of them I wrote was them sparring and Fang beating the shit out of Light. It's actually something about their characters I really enjoy exploring.

Especially Fang. I mean, so much about Fang's logic is flawed. I mean: I'd rather destroy the whole world including you all, rather than see you become monsters. I mean, how in the hell do you get to a place where that seems like a logical solution?

You have a messed up childhood:

They had temporarily escaped the heat of the day, Fang and he, by sitting in the shade of one the spring's overhangs. Years later, Hope could still vividly recall the scene -- the breeze coming off of the water; the cool stone underfoot, forever untouched by the sun; the stark contrast between their shadow-ensconced enclave and the brightly-lit canyon beyond; the gentle murmur of the falls, crashing some distance away.

In hindsight, Fang had probably wanted to sit in silence, but Hope was young and uncertain, and to keep the self-doubt from setting in, he needed to talk. He started to mumble something; Fang glared back. But Hope decided to forge on. "Did you ever come here before, you know, you completed your Focus?"

Fang sighed. "A few times. Not much has changed. Just as beautiful as ever." Her lips twisted up into a smirk. "Just as dangerous."

Silence crept back into the alcove, but it was Fang that chose to speak next. "You scared, kid?"

It was a kindness, posing the statement as a question. Of course he was scared; only a madwoman like Fang thrived on uncertainty and discord. But she was giving him a chance to voice his fear, and that meant something.

"Well, yeah." Hope shrugged, trying to look a little less concerned than he felt. "I don't know what's going to happen. I don't... I don't know what to do." What else was there to say? He was a normal boy from a normal family, and every night, when the behemoths howled in the distance, he flinched.

Fang stood up, looking out across the water. From the side, Hope could tell she was still smirking, but her eyes were pained, and her voice took a far-away tone. "When I was young, there was a lobo den in this chasm, right across the water from where we are now. The cubs were cute lil' things."

A pause. "One of them mauled an orphans from Oerba. I killed the den."

"I'm... I'm sorry," Hope said instinctively, realizing even as he spoke that it was the exact wrong thing to say.

"I don't need your sympathy," Fang snarled. "I did what I did to protect the people I loved. Just..." The anger started to fade from her voice. "What I'm trying to say is, suck it up, kid. We all hafta play the hand that Lady Luck deals us, even if it's not the hand we like, or wanted." She motioned with her head. "Now come on, let's see if we can scrounge up something to eat."

AND I DID IT AGAIN

DAMN IT

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. HERE. TO MAKE UP FOR IT.

He’s not very surprised to find her standing alone, truth be told. All the others are back in the house, watching Vanille fiddle with her robot, and he’s pretty sure he’s the only one who noticed Fang slink out. Shoulders hunched against the wind--or against reality--she stares out at the sea, and the railroad crumbling into dust.

“Fang?” he says and the line of her shoulders tightens.

She doesn’t turn to face him, just keeps staring. “Yeah?”

Her voice is even, perfectly controlled, but it’s lacking her normal personality, a hollowness there that makes him reach a hand up to grasp his necklace. It occurs to him then that he has no idea what to say--sorry won’t cut it, sorry won’t make it okay, and losing Serah can’t be anything compared to this, can it? “Fang,” he says, and reaches out to grasp her shoulder. “We’ll get them back for this.”

“You wanna know something about Cie’th?” she asks him, there’s no emotion to her voice, but he can feel the way her muscles tighten beneath his hand.

After a moment’s pause, he says, “Sure.”

For a long time, she just keeps looking outwards, no real movement except for the stirrings of her controlled breaths, and he tightens his grip on her till it’s almost painful. If he didn’t know she could handle it, he wouldn’t, but she can, so he does. “A Cie’th’s size is controlled by how big and strong a person was before they turned,” she straightens to perfect posture, and she stares up at the sky, and he looks down at her, and winces at the pain there, “Those little Cie’th? They’re the children, Snow.”

Truth be told, he’d guessed as much. But he waits, because she obviously needs--needs something, and maybe if he stands here, with her, he’ll be able to figure it out and give it to her.

“When I came of age at sixteen, I took over the orphanage, lookin’ after all the kids who’d lost their parents to the war,” she tells him, her voice still even, disaffected, but he can feel the almost imperceptible shudder than runs through her like a current.

Snow expels a breath. “Fang--”

“Don’t tell me it’s going to be all right,” she snaps, “Because it’s not. I made a promise, that day. To keep them safe. To keep Vanille safe. And I didn’t, I did the opposite.”

Nice snippet. ♥ Really like the moment you've captured there.

I don't know. Fang is such a mystery to me, because she wants to save Vanille, but killing her is a good option? Like, a messed up childhood (being an orphan, growing up on Pulse, being bloodthirsty--

You know? What if it has something to do with Ragnorak being contained in her? Like, it makes her in pain or twists her emotions? The brands on the other people are controlled by emotion, maybe Fang's brand (which is warped and twisted) affects her emotions?

DANG

DANG

That was awesome.

DANG.

You write a much better Fang than I; I could totally see this whole scene happening in the game. Like, her saying those lines and everything.

And also: I like that we independently wrote what is basically the same scene.

What is this from/was this for?

That's a good idea, but I don't like excusing her behavior to outside influences.

THAT SAID, I still totally do not understand why she tried to kill Vanille at the end of the game.

Fang's a hard character to write, I'll give her that. I think it's mostly getting her cadence down that I see people have trouble with. Your Fang is really good, I thought, so...?

XD Great minds think alike, XD

Anyway, I'll post the rest of the scene so you kinda understand what's happening, but it's kinda a prelude to this fic. It's part of a shorter three-part fic I'm in the process of writing.

Her hand comes up, and she clutches at her brand, nails digging into the flesh there, until he can see the skin breaking, and then she releases a ragged breath, and tries to pull herself away from him. He doesn’t let her go; she snarls a string of words he can’t understand, but is probably Oerban for ‘fuck off, fucker’. Any other time, it would make him smile.

“This is my fault. See--I was stupid, so fucking stupid. The Cocoonians had killed a friend of mine and I--I wanted retribution. And I thought that if I was a L’Cie, I could. I could beat them, make them pay for what I did. So I went to Anima and asked to be made a L’Cie, but I didn’t realize--Vanille had followed. In trying to protect my Village, I had dragged down my best friend--my partner--and then no one was there to look after the orphans when we went to Cocoon. And I’m Ragnorak. I destroyed--and caused all of this mess and now Oerba--”

Fang falters, digging into her mark even more painfully, and Snow tugs her into his arms, and rests his head on hers; she falls silent, tense. “Fang, it’s not your fault.”

“Fuck you,” she murmurs, making no move to shove him away, looking at the ruined tracks again, “You’re all talk.”

He waits--just holds her there, feels her breathe (even coming apart at all her seams, she’s still rigid and proud in his arms, and he can’t help but wonder whether or not it’s a good thing)--and she finally expells a breath that sounds like the aftershock of a sob. Snow tightens his hold on her; maybe if he squeezes tight enough, she’ll realize that she’s not alone.

Finally, finally, she pulls her hand from her mark, and he can just barely see that she’s bleeding. “You should just kill me,” she murmurs.

“Fang--”

“Listen,” she snaps, and it occurs to him that this isn’t something that just came to her, that’s she’s been thinking it for awhile. “If you’re serious about protecting Cocoon, saving it or whatever? It’s gonna have to happen. Ragnorak. I’m Ragnorak. To protect Cocoon, I have to fall. And I--I can’t turn, Snow. Not into a Cie’th and there’s... Something different. I haven’t been able to figure it out before now, but I think I understand it. Why my mark’s all messed up?”

Snow spins her around, making her face him, and he says, “Fang. Think about it, for a second, will you? Killing you won’t save Cocoon. They’ll make the next sorry sap into Ragnorak.”

“I’m not dying, Snow. Every second of our lives, we’re dying one little second at a time. But I’m not like that, anymore. I’m not dying. I’m going to live until someone kills me or until I become Ragnorak and do what the Fal’Cie want me to do. I don’t want that, Snow. Imortality or becoming a fucking puppet. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I don’t fucking give a damn.”

His eyes shut for a moment--tries to get his bearings, tries to respond from a place that isn’t colored by his own gaping loss--and then he mumurs, “Fang, we’ll sort this out,” he pauses, “I promise. It’ll be okay.”

Her lips pull back, and she chokes on the snarl. “Fuck, Snow. You can’t save everyone. You’re going to have to make a choice.”

“We’ll figure it out when we get there, then.”

Fang turns her head, looking away; Snow sighs, reaches up and scratches the back of his head. “Fang...” he exhales a breath that’s not nearly as even as he’d like it to be. “We’re not going to abandon you to fight alone. You’re not going to be left alone while we’re all Cie’th.”

She looks back up at him, face relaxing for a moment, and then she turns away again. “You can’t promise me that.”

“So what can I do, Fang? Let me help--that’s what family’s for, right?”

For a long time, she doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, and then she presses her face into his chest. But she doesn’t shake with tears, doesn’t do anything but rest there, and he reaches out and gently strokes her hair, because there’s really not anything else he can do for her, not really. Not right now. Not like this.

It’s so quiet he nearly misses it. “Don’t leave,” she murmurs.

And that’s for sure something he can do.

“C’mon,” he says, “Heroes don’t leave anyone behind, you know that.”

She sighs and then pulls away from him, face a mask of strength, but there’s a look in her eyes that, frankly, terrifies him (terrifies him enough to wonder if they’re going to wake up one morning and find that Fang’s gone, for good) and she says, “Let’s go back. They’ll be gettin’ worried.”

Fang’s gone before he can stop her. All he can do now is cross his fingers and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid.

Oh, god no. I'm not trying to excuse her. At all. Because what she did was wrong and self-destructive and she hurt the people around her.

I mean, I felt for her, but that doesn't make it right.

But I mean, there has to be some sort of explanation? Because it didn't make sense, at all. And she had gotten over that stint earlier in the game, with Bahamut and then the scene with Vanille before they get to Oerba.

It was all Fang. Fang's anger and Fang's knee jerk reaction to give into the Fal'Cie demands in order to save Vanille, but maybe Ragnorak pushed at those buttons, pushed Fang just a little farther? Pushed out even the potential for reason?

Okay, I'm glad we're on the same page about Fang. Because while I understand her continued willingness to become Ragnorak (of course, that means I have to ignore the "we have a new family now, Vanille" scene on Gran Pulse), I just don't understand why she pulls her blade on Vanille.

I really hate it when characters behave inconsistently, and then we're expected to accept/explain it. aaaarrrggghghghghghghghg

HOPE USED REGEN AND VANILLE CAST DEATH

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